silencio

Frustration

a part of the mind

confusion

a state of being unstated

anger

the clenched fists and tension in the body

the rage

flowing through

flood

and then stop

hope

the quieter part of the mind

quiet

the confusion ends

but the thoughts

the memorie

still flow through the veins

through the muscles

the tension alleviates the ever-going

never-ceasing

part of me that wants the quiet

the peace

silencio, por favor

Four Breaths

One…
breathe in…
The birds
listening to the birds
each one so different
Listen closely
find the direction
Listen to all of them
hearing their song
the chorus
all different notes
all one song
Two…
breathe out…
looking up
past the branches
the sunset
the clouds
quickly moving
at different heights
all different shapes
all different colors
Three…
breathe in…
the rays
the sun shining through
from somewhere so distant
to somewhere so near
shining onto the trees
the leaves
all different colors
all different shades
light dark
and inbetween
10,000 leaves
10,000 shades
the leaves fall and drift
with the wind
reminding me
of the precious days
we have here on earth
reminding me
to make the most
of every opportunity
Four…
breathe out…
wake up
to the reality
of a new day
a new hope
a new song
renewed by the Spirit
within
The one who breathes life
into my darkest times
in and out…

Not That Easy

Forgive

not forget

for myself

not them

But inside

I ask

How would they feel?

Is it possible?

Why do these memories flood?

The flood

every part of my body

every aspect of my life

They say it’s not that easy

but they do not understand

They do not understand

the battle of good and evil

inside my soul

inside my mind

inside my body

the very essence

of me

I am not those things

those awful events

the parts of my life

my very being

that I wish

and pray

and hope

I will forget

but I may never forget them

at least in this lifetime

What keeps me fighting

and hoping

running

and sometimes crawling

through the toughest days?

It is the light

the sun always rising

It is the hope

each new morning brings

It is that deep part of me

the deepest part of my soul

my inner being

the Holy Spirit

inside my body

The one

who strengthens me

and holds me

lets me know He is

always with me

There is no darkness

no pit so deep

no fire

no flood

nothing

no crevice

no hole

in this world

left untouched by God

no part of my life

no matter how deep

no place

without God

To Hope

To hope

is beyond words

beyond comprehension

that light you hold on to

when all you see is darkness

the world is chaotic

nonsense

no end in sight

everyone is evil around you

out to get you

the deepest

darkest

part of your life

but slowly

you emerge

from the darkness

the sun rises

bringing clarity

to the confusion

the thoughts that no one cares

turns into the realization

there are people who do

the thoughts that people are eivl

turns into the realization

that there is good in everyone

and it is that clarity

those realizations

that give life the meaning that God intended

We are not meant to be alone

not meant to just be one

We are called to join

and to realize that there are people

others

just like me

And together we fight

to keep going

when it seems like we

have nothing left to fight with

It is in those times

when the world seems the darkest

and emptiness invades

our thoughts

our minds

our bodies

our spirits

that we cling on to the hope

and we know that God

is renewing all of those parts of us

our thoughts

our minds

our bodies

our spirits

He brings light into our darkness

and we move forward

and change the world

The Truth

What is the truth?

The truth

is something that cannot be explained

It can

but not in this lifetime

The truth that we can understand

is that God is all around us

within us

above us

below us

He carries us

He lifts us

He takes th deepest, darkest places in our lives

those parts of us with pain and hurt

that fill the part like nobody can

The peace I feel

and the hope that sustains me

keeps me going

helps me to continue

and calms my fears and the doubt

when I am still

quiet

listening to Him

filtering out the noise

the need to be understood

The one who understands is most important

The one who accepts me and holds me

when nobody else is there

He never leaves

and he always carries

He created the birds, the sky and the sun

to remind us that we can fly

We can keep walking

running

He gives me strength

and tells me the truth

I am loved by Him

more than anyone here could love me

but there are a lot of people who do care

and they pray

Prayer is continual speaking to God

a constant renewal of my faith

and hope

and love

With God on my side,

I really have nothing to fear

Nothing against me shall prosper

or will

because He lifts me out of anything

With Him

there are tears

not tears of pain but tears of joy

there is fear

not fear of evil but fear of Him

there is love

not love of this world but love for God, myself and others

there is so much hope

and hope always endures

Endurance comes not from myself

not from my soul

not from my body

but endurance that can only come from God

The Journey

The journey of self discovery
is more about the path
It's about looking back
and dealing with the things
you would rather avoid
It is about coming face to face
with the reality
that you can either stay stuck
letting the past or future rule your life
or you can take control
by the power and strength
of God in you
moving forward
taking a step forward
and knowing
no matter what
God is there
He is with you
leading you
guiding you
loving you
as no one else can
The journey
is about
listening and being still
letting God be your guide
It is about taking the moments
when everything is falling apart
and letting God transform them
letting God do unimaginably
more than you can ask or imagine
It is God who gives you
the strength, courage, hope
you need
to keep moving
It is about finding
peace and rest
in His open arms
It is about letting Him
take your weaknesses, sins and regrets
and knowing you are forgiven
as you learn to forgive yourself
and reconcile relationships
with those who you have hurt
as well as those who have hurt you
It is about learning
what unconditional love really means
and not letting the pain and suffering rule your life any longer
We are meant to love each other
We are meant to love ourselves
We are meant to love God
We are meant to discover
what it truly means to
have joy in no matter what circumstance
we find ourselves
The journey is about
learning how to soar
above the storms
above the pain
above anything and everything
that is holding us back
Amen.

be still

This poem was written while I was in the hospital. I wrote it when I could barely control my arms due to muscle spasms, but I really wanted to express how I felt. I read it out loud to others in the hospital, even though I could barely even speak due to stuttering.

As I gaze at the sun
as the sky slowly transforms
from complete darkness
to blue
as the world goes from chaotic
a dark mess with a lot of noise
to a blanket of white
as snowflakes fall all around
the world is transformed
through silence
Sometimes all we need in the chaos
in the midst of the busyness of life
is to just be
be still and know that God
is with you
hear Him speak
with the still small voice
He speaks in the people around you
whether words are spoken
or not
He speaks in the animals
the eagles that soar over the storms
He speaks in the music I hear
and the verses that come
into my mind
It always starts with the
still
small
voice
That voice
The voice of the One who understands
and feels everything I feel
when nobody else does
That voice
gives me the
hope
strength
faith
love
peace
even in the midst of the chaos
when I am fearful and anxious
He can calm me
just as Jesus calmed the storms
He calms my fears
and holds my hand
and speaks to me
He is always there
Many have heard
that faith is believing even
when we can't see
or feel something tangible
but I can hear God
I can feel God
I can see God
I have hope even when
the foundation I stand upon
becomes unsteady
and everything feels like
it's falling apart
no control
It's in those moments
that I remember
God is in control
and He renews my life
and brings light into my life
even in the darkest times
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I don't fear evil
I don't fear those who
aim to hurt rather than love
because having God in my life
means that I will get through anything
Because God is for me
He is for everyone
I find shelter under the shadow of His wings
Those wings help me to soar
but they also are soft
just like He wraps
His arms around me
when I feel like nobody cares
I know He does
He always has and always will

A Love Prayer

Please help us fix the problems

in our world.

Please forgive Your people

for hurting each other.

Please forgive the tears

we’ve made each other shed.

Instead of showing anger and hate,

teach us to love,

as You have loved us first.

Help us to feed

those who have hunger.

Help us give a drink

to those who thirst.

Help us not to judge strangers;

to invite them in.

Help us to give clothes

to the less fortunate.

Help us to love and look after

the sick and needy.

Help us not forget

those in jail and hospitals,

for when we help another,

we are helping You

Your Sight and My Blind Eyes

I can run and try to hide,

but I can’t escape from your sight.

No matter where in this world I go,

There is nothing that you don’t know.

Please, Lord, protect and save me,

Open my blind eyes so I can see

the things in this world that remind me of you.

Take my life and show me what to do.

Sometimes there are moments I am afraid,

Even of things that You have made.

But I look at the colors of the world today,

You made their beauty, there’s nothing else to say

The World

Everybody
Always alone
yet always together
connected in all sorts of ways:
knowing each other,
experiences,
whatever.
Never knowing
always hurting each other
makes no sense
killings
for no reason
drugs
for no reason
suicides
for no reason
Why?

Turning Back Time

One minute

I’m sitting here.

Next minute

I’m somewhere else.

Where has the time gone?

I wish I could go back in time

and savor the moments I miss.

The pictures I look at.

I am so happy.

Why can’t I go back?

Way back…

to the time

I could sit back and have fun.

I am older now

and I miss being a kid.

Life: The Story

Life is a bunch
of words
scribbled down
in a book.
Some are confusing.
Some are clear.
But all of them
makes up
a story of
someone's life.
God is the author.
I am the living person.
We are the living people.

Concert Anticipation

Surrounded by God's children
We are waiting
waiting for the silence
to be broken by a guitar
a singer
a band
Christian lyrics
We are waiting 
waiting for the light
the light of God
to shine down on us
to show us the way
We are waiting 
waiting for a feeling
a feeling that God is with us
God is watching over us
We are waiting 
waiting for you

Life

Destinations sometimes

ruined by temptations.

Made but

difficult to reach.

Goals set for the race,

ran with perseverance,

never to run out.

God, always watching…

Believe and

He will make your path straight.

Pain and hurt

shall cease forever.

Broken heart

remade and renewed.

Saved.

Every broken heart will

remain beautiful and whole.

Stand firm in your faith.

God loves you.

His love is like an ocean,

the tide never stopping but

always going on

forever and ever for eternity.

The storms and hurricanes

are the heartaches of life.

It takes

courage and strength

to go out into a storm

just like a storm in life,

never knowing what

tomorrow will bring.

But the tide still goes on,

no matter how bad

the storm is.

When the storm is over,

the sun comes out

reminding us that

the light of Jesus

will never be overcome

with darkness or storms.

The sunset on the ocean

declares His glory

and wondrous works.

Every time you

bathe in the water,

you are pouring out

your heart to Him.

God is our refuge.

Faith, hope and love

always are there.

Love is the

greatest gift of all.

There is no fear in love.

Magic Words

Words are magic,
bringing us to
places of the
past,

present

and future,
ruining someone's day,
brightening someone's day,
breaking friendships,
fixing friendships,
making us laugh,
making us cry,
making us feel
all the emotions of this world.
There are many magic words
in our world,
but the 3 most magic words are
"I love you."

Life's Victory

arms spread out
reaching up high
smile from end to end
this is the moment
my moment to live for
i am the champion
i savor this moment
there are not many in this life
everyone is the winner
if they have achieved happiness
if they have gotten past the pain
if they have attempted the impossible
and given it their all
if they are the best they can be
if they have overcome darkness with light

My Hero

My hero is there, even though you can’t see him.

My hero listens to me all the time.

My hero knows my heart, way deeper than anyone can see.

My hero hugs me, yet I do not feel him.

My hero holds my hand along the path of life.

My hero doesn’t judge me or anyone else.

My hero gave up his life for me, yet

My hero gets nothing in return.

My hero stops the world to listen to each person, each problem.

My hero is my protector, for I am never alone.

My hero listens to all my prayers; day and night, night and day.

My hero loves me unconditionally.

My hero was there when I was born,

My hero is there when I live, and

My hero will be there when I die, and live on.

My hero is my crying shoulder, the one I can always depend on.

My hero lives in heaven, because

My hero is JESUS

Rainbows

Rainbows

are beautiful mysterious things
come from unknown places
Rainbows
are a covenant between God and us
a promise of no more floods to drown us
Rainbows
are flowers in the mud
colors in the dark
Rainbows
are the colors of my life
all the different emotions I feel
Rainbows
are all the races and religions of our world
stuck together to create beauty

My Three Senses of God

i see God

in me

my life

my friends

my family

in the smiles i see

the beautiful creations

He created

in the birds that fly

close to the heavens

i hear God

in music

the cheerfulness

of a person

in laughter

in tears of joy

in the sermons

listened to each Sunday

i know God

by faith

in my Bible

in my heart

in my soul

in my mind

in love

Hands Reaching Down

i am scared

sitting here all alone

i look around

darkness covers me

i say a little prayer

close my eyes

on the floor

trusting God…

i open my eyes

and see a light

He is smiling down at me

reaches His hands down to me

i give Him all my pain

He wipes all my tears

i am better now

no more darkness

no more waiting

no more sadness

no more tears

I AM SAVED!

The Prayer of a Lost People

Dear God,
Bring me home.
I'm all alone
on a deserted street.
No one holding my hand
except You.
I don't know what to do,
maybe there's nothing.
I'm lost.
I don't know my way.
I want to scream.
I want to cry,
but there's no shoulder to cry on.
I want to hug someone,
but there's no one to hug.

Rocky Path

Fight this battle
the battle for your life
Keep going
Set your eyes
on your ultimate destination
Don't look side to side
evil
is always there
but good
is there in the times
you most need help
along this rocky path
the path to happiness
righteousness
success
and everlasting peace

Flying With the Angels

"Fly with the angels,"
my mother once said.
They are happy,
helping children.
Flying with angels,
in the life you lead,
makes you happier
than a bed full of roses.
An angel is a flower,
blooming in all seasons.
Spring, Summer, 
Autumn, Winter
An angel will help you
fly all the days
of your life,
if you just hold on tight
to those fluttering wings.

The Past

The sun
dries up all my tears
as I sit on the porch
on this hot, summer day,
thinking about my past.
I don't know why
I think of this
on such a beautiful day;
No clouds in the sky,
perfectly blue.
I think of what I would be
and who I would be
if my life had been different.
All I know is who I am today
is who I will be forever,
and I am happy with that

The Judgment Song

Don’t judge me on first glance,

cuz I am beautiful.

Don’t judge me by my color,

cuz we are all one color.

Don’t judge me by my clothes,

cuz I look the way I look.

Don’t judge me by my religion,

cuz I have made the choice.

Don’t judge me by my past,

cuz it’s over and done with.

Judge me by my attitude,

cuz it is who I am.

Judge me by my generosity,

cuz it is what I do.

Judge me by my kindness,

cuz it’s what really counts

Cross Among The Debris (A 9/11 Tribute)

i hear something crash
into the building next to my window
i look out
people running and screaming
their lives forever changed
i watch as the building
crumbles to the ground
debris all over the place
everything slows down
firefighters all over controlling the fire
not seeing any light
except gray black white
out of the debris i see a cross
the pain of Christ
is the pain of my people
the death i have just seen
is the death my Christ endured
the death i have just seen
is the pain of my people

My Last Moment

If this moment was my last

I'd tell you how much I love you

I'd tell you not to worry

I'm going to a better place

I'd sing you a song from my heart

I'd remind you of all those times

you hugged me when I was scared

I'd remind you of all those times

you made me smile wide

I'd remind you of all those times

we fought and were best friends the next day

I'd tell you how beautiful you are

on the inside and out

I'd tell you to move on

and continue the path of life

I'd tell you how much I'll miss you

and can't wait to see you again

I'd pray for your happiness and safety

if this moment was my last

Champion of Life

the tears
stream down my face
not because i'm sad
but of joy
for i have won
the battle
i fought
with all my strength
never gave up
never stopped going
tough times
did not overtake me
i did not give in
to daily pressures
i am the champion
of the battle of life

God's Strength

I know your pain;

the pain of your past.

I know what you’ve been through,

the places you’ve been,

the feelings you’ve had.

It felt like the end of your strength,

but it was the beginning of My strength.

I love you so much,

I sent my only Son

to take away your pain,

so hang in there.

Don’t give up.

A Connecticut Night

The dark clouds sweep across
the light rainbow sky
bringing night and darkness
These clouds are stretching
All I can see is the lighthouse
and all I can hear are
the waves
going on forever
like God's love
I can't see the waves
but I still believe
I believe that the waves are stretching
stretching for people to see God
everyday
I believe God is talking to us
through the waves
"Come to me
come to me
and get swept away"

God's Little Child

Don't cry, little child,

For God is hugging you tight.

Don't be frightened, little child,

For God is with you tonight.

Don't hate your enemies, little child,

For Jesus says to love.

Don't fear death, little child,

For heaven is right above.

Don't worry about the future, little child,

For God has a plan for you.

Don't quit anything in life, little child,

For with God, even the impossible you can do.

Don't be angry with yourself, little child,

For you will hurt others.

Don't forget the poor and needy, little child,

For we are sisters and brothers.

Don't dwell on the past, little child,

For you need to go on.

Don't be lonely, little child,

For you want to be happy before you're gone.

Don't forget to pray, little child,

For God will answer your prayers in mysterious ways.

Don't forget, little child,

For God will always be with you all of your days.

Sharing the Pain

sharing the pain

i realize i’m not the only one

i am not the only victim

not even close

there are victims around us

everywhere

a friend

a child

an enemy

all we have to do

is listen

listen to each other’s pain

Sunday Morning

We hold hands and sing together

as we laugh, cry and smile.

I look around and I feel at home.
Home is where the heart is.

As we laugh, cry and smile,

we think about the people we love.

Home is where the heart is.

I love my life at this very moment.

We think about the people we love.

Images come to our minds.

I love my life right at this very moment.

My life makes sense all of a sudden.

Images come to our minds;

people, songs, God and Jesus.

My life makes sense all of a sudden.

I understand the reason I’m here.

People, songs, God and Jesus

bring me joy as I stand here.

I understand the reason I’m here.

Everything looks beautiful to me.

Bring me joy as I stand here.

We hold hands and sing together.

Everything looks beautiful to me.

I look around and I feel at home.

storm

beautiful sunset

warm breeze from the ocean

“James, be careful!”

“I am, I am, Don’t worry so much.

Something so beautiful could never hurt me.”

the creamy white sands

of the beach were

beginning to be blown away

storm approaching

forest green

and

creamy white

            turned to dark grey

                        to nighttime black

            “James, be careful!”

            “I am, I am, Don’t worry so much.

            Something so beautiful could never hurt me.”